Thoughts From The Lost And Confuzed

ive gotta brag real quick...so my all nighter on last wednsday night totally paid off =) i got my paper back today and i was a bit freaked bc i got a see me but it turns out i had to see her bc i did really well and she wanted to know if id mind changing a few minor typos and giving it back to her to use as a sample for next year =) im really really happy about this like i still may not get an A though bc if my not so great exam grade but it proves that maybe im not as dumb as some people think =) im gonna go celebrate by taking a celebratory nap =)

what the fuck is wrong with me? i cant focus enough to write this god damn paper. AHHHHHHH

watching the sun rise is a very funny thing...

Sway your head, move your feet
Wake yourself from this sleep
If there’s a day, there’s a way
You can get yourself there
Golden smile you’ve got style
That they can’t take away
Scream and shout
Get it out before it swallows you
No surprise in these times
How it really comes through
All the walks and the thoughts
But can you break through
You’re alive, so alive, now come on!

You gotta pull yourself back together
Give it one more shot its now or never
With a new day calling for you
You’ve gotta believe

Build a plan, yes you can
You got nothing to lose
Look around up and down
What are you going to choose
Can you see the sunrise
It came up for you
you’re alive, so alive, now come on!

You gotta pull yourself back together
Give it one more shot its now or never
With a new day calling for you
You’ve gotta believe
You gotta throw yourself back in the water
Taking one deep breath you’re getting closer
After all you’ve taught and seen
You gotta believe

I think its coming back
I think it’s coming back to me

Nahhhhh I feel I’m getting better
Nahhhhh my world is getting better

-Sway your Head by We Shot the Moon

sigh...chicago...

sleep, where art thou?

yesterday i studied at the library for 5 hours on my own then went back to the dorm, studied with emily and eva bit then went to the library with eva from 2-6am, we kept each other awake and at one point in time there were only 3 of us on the entire floor and all 3 of us were studying ethics bc the other was this girl salima i sit next to and so i skipped around the library and it was a lot of fun actually...eva and i had bonding time which we hopefully wont repeat under the same conditions any time soon...

tests today went alright...juvenile delinquency i think went a bit better than the first and i dont think i aced it but i think i passed for sure, ethics on the other hand omg i took it but it was the biggest load of bs ever, my essays were made up bc i knew liek the main principle but i didnt know how to elaborate and the true false was like well i have a 50/50 chance...it kinda sucked a lot actually but meh its done...i ahve my dance final wednsday which is nerve wracking bc we r videotaped and she reviews the tapes and grades technique on this routine we have to do so i have to practice then education thursday which i dont even know what it will be on but after that im done...i gotta run to work now but life is alright i guess...

this calls for drastic measures...im turning off my internet...

blah 520 and still not done...dumb dumb alyson...and guess what another paper of equal length due tuesday that still hasnt been started...looks like 2 all nighters in a row??? great...

im annoyed with myself...i know i can crank out an 8 page paper in a few hours no problem, proof it, print it, be done with it in like 8 hours max...i planned it for 3 hours, and now ive been sitting trying to write it for 4 and i have 2 pages...thats absurd, worse than absurd abismal, worse than that, disgraceful...i feel out of practice or something like ive written papers but not philosophical ones and i just feel like ive lost my touch, bssing is getting harder for me now and i enjoy writing but its not coming as easily as before...ive gotta get this thing done...

IM IN GAMMA PHI BETA!!! IM SO HAPPY I ALMOST CRIED LOL!!! now off to meet my pledge class and dare i say it...sisters...=D

so much for having a routine and a schedule...at least eating breakfast alone means you get done faster...and to think my roomie is terrified of the idea and has yet to be put into the situation...sigh thanksgiving in 6 days and christmas break in one month 2 days...

opening night tonight...2 1/2 hours till curtain...im meeting the grils in 10 minutes for dinner...im so excited and yet so nervous...i know we rnt really doing anyhting but now it feels like something...omg opening night tonight...

being quiet as a mouse...house full of people, lawyers, morgage people, having a meeting so im hiding out in my room...turns out its harder than i thought...

im crazy lol i finally have almost finished making the actual pages of my finland scrapbook which has only taken like a yr =) now all i have left are like a handful of misc pages then going back and writing on each page and doing stickers and decoration...its massive like i made it on notebook papers and its maxing out a 1 1/2 in binder right now like its insanity...but im so close now i can taste it...

optimism is awesome...it is all a state of mind after all so i guess im feeling a lot better now...the shopping trip and babysitting helped a lot and im much more grounded i guess so to say so yea like must go on...

gotta keep this short bc harry potter and the deathly hallows =) wont read itself...

omg best day omg today was amazing...warped was AWESOME like ok i got to see paramore and ANBERLIN and street drum corps who were my top 3 then i also caught some of other cool bands like family force 5 who are hilarious, dangerous summer, and evaline so yea not only did i see amazing bands but i also got deon's guitar pick and the anberlin setlist and han somehow spotted the there for tomorrow guys across the way so we stalked them and got a picture and even though it rained and we had to stand in the rain and watch dangerous summer and we were drenched and soggy it was freaking amazing and best concert in a while =)

then tonight was the hp7 launch party and although i ended up seeing way tooo many people i knew and was number 242 i still had a bit of fun and now i have the book and the first chapter is great and now i must read the rest...i want to read it yet i sont want it to be over...cant have it both ways...off to read

why do some people have to be jackasses and ruin it for everybody else

I HAVE NO HAIR!!! well i have some, but its been thinned and cut really short for me so omg i have no hair...

i took the my first official emory quiz of sorts to grant me full access to learnlink and i passed getting only one question wrong about access to permanent records =) im glad i motivated myself to do it...

we had family day and went ot this really strange really authentic brazillian restaurant in the spanish speaking sector of tampa. we were the only non hispanics as my dad pointed out but it was really good bc everyhting was super authentic...the buffet had no labels and looked insane so we opted for the menu...i got this pounded flattened stak thing with onions and this rice which was white but i think was cooked in like oils or something bc it hada distinct taste and then we all shared what we got and moms was the best like it was this yellow rice which wasnt really yellow rice but looked yellow ith like ground olives, tomatoes, peppers, green things and a bunch of stuff i had no clue what it was but it was real good and it was insane they would walk around with skewers of meat and just serve it off the skewer to ur plate and it was like insane a brazillian bbq...family days are always interesting...